I need your help on how to become a pregnant stripper

So. As some of you may have noticed in my moblog my HTC Touch HD decided to have an epileptic touch screen bitch fit and is now in for repair.

I have no idea whether or not they’ll be able to fix her and frankly my enthusiasm is kind of dying here… Don’t get me wrong, I love her but one thing about her personality really annoys me. She runs on Windows Mobile. You can stop staring judgmentally at the screen now people. She’s an old lady and WM was what you had to pick from back in those days. Thing is, I am a bit of a technology slut. And while my baby has been on her recreation vacation I’ve been a little unfaithful. I’ve fallen in love with this 3.5-inch wonder (without Sarah Jones all up in my screen, thank you):

I’d totally go pregnant stripper for her. That’s how damn delicious she is. Did I mention she’s Android!?!! And that full QWERTY keyboard is just asking to be raped for some heavy blogging.

What I’d also go pregnant stripper for:

Canon EOS 5D mark II camera
Macro lens (50mm)
Zoom lens (75-300mm)
MacBook Pro
My own old fashioned study/library room including balcony
Magical credit card to purchase books for study
Tim Burton’s brain
Plane ticket home

So, who do I call? Is it to late if I can go into labor any second? If my water brakes on stage do I have to mop it up myself? Does there exist pregnant fetish strip clubs where I can make a little extra? If I’m not able to put on my own socks can I still get hired?
What would you go preggy stripper for?

9 Comments / Jul 31.10 / Junk, Wishlist / by Nina Amelia

Summer Heat

The next moron who asks me if I’m able to keep warm followed by pointing at my (HUGE) bump just in case I didn’t get the joke, gets a boob squirt in the eye.

4 Comments / Jul 24.10 / Bitchery, Daily, Minis, Miracle / by Nina Amelia