You know what the hardest thing to swallow is? Grief. Grief that comes out of nowhere when you least expect it, hitting you like a meteor and tearing up the wound you just thought you had closed. Hitting all air out of you ’till you’re down on your knees in pain and then hitting the replay button so you get to experience it all over again as a special service, just in case you forgot.
We had a friend over with his little dog and I was alone with guest dog and Nico (our black lab) for 15 minutes. I ended up sobbing in the bathroom. Guest dog is a male and doesn’t resemble Piña the slightest except that he’s a small dog. But the sound of his little paws on our hardwood floors and the two of them buzzing after me around the house started to give me an unpleasant feeling and I couldn’t get myself to “talk” to guest dog so I just ended up ignoring both of them and feeling bad over it. I decided I was an idiot and went out in the kitchen to give them both a treat. And as they were sitting there, the two of them staring up at me, I just fell apart.
I know some of you may have trouble understanding how the death of our dog can affect me so much and I probably sound melodramatic or just plain crazy to you, and that’s okay. The relationship people have to their pets can be extremely different. I don’t even like to call Piña my pet. See? Crazy. To me she was a partner and she was our baby girl. It was my job to protect her and she got sick and we weren’t able to save her. And no matter how many vets tell us that we couldn’t have done anything, it still isn’t good enough.
She was supposed to be there when Miracle arrives. And she isn’t there to experience that with us as a part of the family.
How do you deal with grief? And what are your views on having pets and loosing them?
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7 Responses to “Loosing fur”... {add one?}
Årh Nina… jeg får tårer i øjnene når jeg læser dit indlæg! <3 Det er simpelthen det hårdeste i verden at miste sit lille "barn" Jeg mistede min kat Samson for to år siden, jeg var synderknust i lang tid efter, var nødsaget til at tage flere dage fri for arbejde, og det var samme historie, sygdom der ike kunne reddes. Samson havde jeg endda kun haft i et halvt år, kan kun forestille mig hvor slemt det havde været hvis jeg havde haft ham længere. – Har du overvejet at få et nyt kæledyr? – For mig var det ikke en erstatning, men det var det der skulle til for mig.
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Alexia @AlexiaDahl |
July 16th, 2010
Wonderful site and theme, would really like to see a bit more content though!
Great post all around, added your XML feed! Love this theme, too![Reply]
the Success Ladder @ |
July 16th, 2010
If I ever lost Yoshi or Jasper I think a part of me would die inside. Especially Jasper (Yoshi is more the boyfriend’s dog). Thankfyully I’ve never really lost that kind of pet.
Although I did cry when some of my frogs and fish died.
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Nina Amelia Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 9:58 PMI’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I know how screwed up that sounds but it’s good to know that others share the same compassion..
And i hope you get to keep your delicious dogs for many years to come! Remember, if you should get tired of them I’d dogsit for you any day![Reply]
Ashli @psycho_pink |
July 17th, 2010
I’m sorry to hear this.
I have never lost a pet before. Until a few years ago, I never had one. Then I got this pug, and shes the coolest thing to me. She has her own personality and quirks. I’d be devestated if i lost her, and i know shed be devestated if she lost me. She has loved me like no other and ive even compared her admiration to my relationship. This dog is so faithful to me, she barely leaves my side, and she never wants to disappoint me. Shes there 24/7. Shes basically there for me in ways that my boyfriend should be, but isnt. – I’ve lost my mind, I know!
But I hope one day, this memory doesnt haunt you, and you can learn to love another fur ball, again! <3
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Nina Amelia Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:03 PMThe partnership you describe is exactly what i had with Piña. You can’t compare it to a human relationship because it is so intense and basic in an instinctive way. All social rules are ruled out. Basically, it’s probably a more honest relationship than you can ever achieve with a human being.
And thank you, I’m sure I will.
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Dawnly @ |
July 18th, 2010
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This is a fusion of my personal reflections, my artistic playground, my junkyard for dumping bad humor and a showcase for everything that inspires me in every aspect of life. The concept of my little space here is constantly evolving as I do not myself easily fit into nice little neat boxes. Still, I do like them; I am a neurotic mother-to-be and even writing that sentence scares the shit out of me. Join me as I travel on life's miraculous path, leaving colorful footprints behind..
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Nina Amelia Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 9:52 PM
Exactly. They are like “children”, except they don’t last as long.. I’m sorry about Samson. It sounds like it took you down hard as well.
We’ve talked it through but we don’t think any of us would be able to put the loss behind us and focus on just being happy and exited over a new puppy.. The fact that we thought we would have Piña for many years to come and then loosing her from one day to another put a huge chock through us. We thought Nico would be the first to go since he’s old for a labrador and has arthritis. (Not that we’d prefer him dying over Piña but we are realistic.)
Right now we have Nico and we focus on making everyday a great day for him. -He lost his partner as well and we had to get him back on his feet.. But when his time comes, and we are aware that that might be soon, we will probably take a “brake” from having animals on our family. We hope he stays to watch Miracle grow up, at least a little
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